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lols so I haven't updated for 2 weeks-.- I actually wanted to now and then but I just didn't have the time. life just sucks now. it's a whole crap of a hectic mess. technically, I'm pissed with a whole lot of things at the moment. but I'm holding back. though I get the feeling it's gonna come out some day. I'm just hoping now I can at least hold it back till after o's. at least then it doesn't really matter how much I ruin the relationships I've builded anymore. haha. of course, it's not counting those long-term ones. I'll always love those who have been with me since pri sch :) until I die. somehow, now, I think I took a wrong turn somewhere. perhaps I should have followed the other path, and suffer less now. heh. it's like I'm venting all my frustration at the moment. although I feel so mixed up right now. It's like I've lost my goal in life. I don't feel like doing anything anymore. I want to give up, so badly. I want to tell MOE I really don't care what's gonna happen from now on. you can give me 54 for my o's and I won't give a shit. I won't collapse at all, even if that's really the end result. I'm just worried for those who might take it harder than me. I don't want to pull others down when I'm ruining my own life.
so much for motivation. the only motivation I'm getting is that if I don't do well, people around me are gonna start blaming themselves for it, like my parents, teachers and best friends. I know we promised to work hard together, but my vision is starting to blur already. I know we promised to grow up and start a business together, but I'm scared of pulling you guys down with me. it's like I'm lost at the moment, still finding my way. I'm just hoping now that something will happen, to point me in the right direction. although, I'm already starting to give up. I'm wishing I could start over, somewhere else. I'm wishing I never step foot into my current school. life is just hell. maybe going to st nicks might have been a better decision. only God knows. but maybe I could have fitted in better there. I probably would have been able to concentrate on my school work better? maybe I would be more accepted given my current personality? I admit I've changed. but it's thanks to some people I've met in my current school that I've turned out like this. thanks a hell lot. and even though I've never pointedly mentioned who these people are, they should know themselves. yet sadly, there are also people who might probably never know unless I say it straight to their faces. and lastly, even the people close to me in my current school could be any one of these people. though I'm not gonna be mentioning names now. but the people I really hate are those who think they are right when they are not, and still insist so. and even though they turned me into something they hate, they still don't realise that it's thanks to them. haha. such a nice joke :)
I'm just really sorry now for those innocent people who have been affected by my mood, so I apologise. it may not be you though.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
dot dot dot. haha so lame uh-.- sian~ I think I have to like drop chem or something. I mean like seriously, I burn myself like twice liao in one day. plus, it's my worst subject. even ss/geog I got higher larhhs. omg so retarded. anyway I somehow think that kang has something against me after I burned myself. lols. and I saw his daughter. I was like stunned. and like everyone else, I said the only resemblance was due to their specs. haha.
today was a bloody gay day. because for me, that's how I live. zzz. I'm like posting stuff randomly now-.- can see I blur liao forget what I wanted to post at first. ohoh, I remember now. my mother and grandmother are like being super noisy. they're like shouting at each other. and it's not like they are unhappy with each other. it's just that my mother's not coming across to her, which made me laugh my butt off. somehow their conversation was super one-sided. but usually it also takes my grandmother forever to understand. by that time I already cannot tahan and walk away. like I can't believe my mother can just keep on repeating herself. if I EVER get married, I seriously don't want a mother-in-law like that. I think I'll just end up in the mental institute a bit earlier than expected :) haha. but they're like talking about things from really long ago, so I half understand. and my grandmother is really blur. it's kinda hard to explain why so I shan't elaborate.
okay. I'm like just plain tired now. weirdly, my maid managed to wake me up on first try. plus, I didn't even ask her to. which meant that she decreased the number of hours I was planning to sleep :( gah. and I like only realised that after dinner. guess blurness runs in the family eh-.- lols. I can't be bothered to post anymore. I want go read manga :D and I really hate that annoying thing that keeps popping up to ask me to update my comp by restarting it-.- urgh.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
lols. so my excitement has currently died. haha. can you imagine screaming everyday just for one subject for the whole school year? I nearly attempted to do that, but then decided not to cause that would seem too retarded.
hehs. so my dad was like even more excited than me. har har. he was so happy I got A1 luh. like I was just uh huh and he was like smiling non-stop, as though he was the one who sat for the exam instead-.- my mom was also like, your father start boasting already lorhh. apparently today my older brother cousin came to visit, from my dad's side. guess how old is he. lols. I don't really remember, but I think he's older than my dad. and he's like from the same generation as me-.- got 2 kids liao some more. GEH~ but really larhhs I think my family background of my father's side like damn complicated. like my grandmother married twice. and one of the guys she married also marry twice, so it's like I have these long distance cousins-.- makes utterly no sense to me, but at least the generation now very hard to do these kind of things so it's okay :)
zzz. my mom is like forcing me to go off. so I'm like rushing this part out. but technically, I got nothing more to type. just don't want to sleep yet since I'm not that tired. lols fine. I still have to go-.- and yes, that photo was taken during chem lab :D (which is way random)
anyway, LOOK AT MY BEAUTIFUL SHOES xD and my skirt looks bloody long man.
Monday, January 12, 2009
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
I'M SO HAPPY xD SO SO SO SO HAPPY xD haha. yepp most people already know about it. like seriously, I didn't expect myself to get A1 for chinese. I was like at most I will only get A2. now I owe Ivy a meal-.- I shouldn't have said that so easily. now I regret it. zzz. fine. treat then treat lorhh. no big deal since I'm in such a good mood. hehs. I also really don't care about homework anymore larhhs. the teachers can scold all they want I don't care liao.
lols. but I really damn surprised larhhs. all the people from my class that is in my chinese class currently all got A1 larhhs. so cool right? especially since we are like one of the lousiest. except for stupid Ivy who came to my class for no good reason when her chinese so bloody good. gah. I'm gonna like celebrate by using comp today for the whole day :D but seriously, judging from what happened on the day I took my exam, I wasn't expecting this grade. hehs. I remember I was throwing a bloody temper thanks to this bitch. but heck, I still scored well so you can lick my ass you bloody bitch. hahaha. but I think she seriously damn bitch. always think people copy her. like please larhhs, is you copy me de still say I copy you. go eff a cow larhhs you. and you bloody no taste man. seriously, you're better off dead. like at least you decompose can fertilise the soil. in other words, your body is equivalent to dung.
che. I can't be bothered posting about that bitch. it's just down grading myself, wasting my time, and effort. so hehs. I shall remain happy for as long as possible :D
Saturday, January 10, 2009
haha. so kinda sleepy right now again. LOLS. went for mindchamps luh. I think that the one I'm having right now is like much much better than Empower U. like it SUCKED man. it sucked so badly I decided to come up with this retarded sign. (but actually it was damn gay.) yea. but the only reason I could do so was thanks to my DARLING lorhh. haha. so nice right. come all the way to tp to visit me for 1hr nia ^^ haha. I seriously cannot imagine the day LohLoh will do that :P
uh so I was damn high today. firstly was because in the morning I was already screaming at my mother and stuff so like my mood was very energetic. weirdly in the car I go and zi-high for no good reason. like the whole trip there I laughing to myself lorhh. damn gay luh. so when I got there my mood was damn cheery and stuff. and I spoke out to the teacher sub-consciously. like I didn't even realise I was addressing the whole class when I said it. haha. just wanted to explain my point.
heh. after lunch I also damn high plus turned on thanks to my darling lorhh. but the whole day I keep on laughing in class thanks to the word BALL. apparently, today had a lot more jokes about it. like there was this phrase we had to memorise (if possible) and it was "hit the ball and run". the original meaning was baseball, but you know, people who had dirty minds just couldn't control themselves :D and the next thing I thought of was the name that we had wanted for our class game stall, "smash our balls". hahahaha. like we have any. sadly, it had to be "hit me baby one more time", but that was gay enought too ;D anyway the funniest joke was when the teacher was explaining why people would be curious about something if they didn't know anything about it at all. at first he used himself as an example, then he used his rubber ball (he carries one along to play with when he teaches in class, technically so that he can teach better). so he asked the class what would they want to ask about the ball if they knew nothing about it. people were giving all sorts of good questions and then this guy, hahaha, asked "why is it on the outside?" I literally burst out laughing larhhs. actually, I'm still laughing now :D best man. some more he sit next to me nia. I heard it loud and clear.
so that was about it. but another thing that really amused me was that the teacher just found out today that I actually laugh at all the ball jokes. probably because I laughed a lot louder than usual. very high very turned on mah. then the moment he said, "see, even the girls start laughing already", I like burst out laughing even more, because he was looking at me when he said that. so I was like hiding behind another girl. pai seh mah. room got guys. all girls then never mind larhhs. I think I too used to only girl environment liao. forever making sick jokes. ugh. when I graduate I confirm cannot get used to new school. I really need to gay around luh. like have someone to be as sick as me :D at most I train new people lorhh. like how NRL intro me into the world of THE HUMAN BODY :) I'm like trying to phrase this as nicely as I can. haha.
so lols. shall post again tmr after studying with LL and RL. HOPEFULLY. haha. I scared I cannot finish homework there then must chiong at home again-.- zzz. because they are another cause of my distraction. they are the other group who also thinks as perverted as me :D but if I never became friends with RL, I probably wouldn't be able to come out with the jokes that I have, so thank you NRL for introducing me to THAT world :D
the end ^^ (added it because it sounded like something someone would say at a graduation ceremony)
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
egad. I'm freaking stressed uh. that's why I'm like coming online to de-stress. I really no mood to do homework anymore. I want to die sia :(
lols. just decided to post for the sake of posting. to update it. but this post is gonna be so short compared to the rest cause I seriously no mood to blog also. at first in school I actually had. but later reach home really damn tired so can't be bothered liao. next time then update properly :) hehs. actually wanted to blog about the teen bondage thing today. but I forgot to take photo of it luh so when I get the photo then I discuss about it :D
therefore, off I go.
Monday, January 5, 2009
ugh. I'm like half dead now. sec 4 life SUCKS to the max. the only thing I'm gonna like about this year is that I'm leaving the stupid school :D if you ask me to stay for one more year I'd rather go blind. but lol that might happen. haha. since after 5hrs of chionging holiday homework made my eyes damn pain. but I feel damn pro. to be able to sit down and actually do homework for 5hrs non-stop :) heh. but that caused me to skip lunch. which is BAD. lols and no, I'm not going on a diet. I'm just finishing the homework that's supposed to be in the teacher's eyes today or I die.
hmm today is like what? the second day of school. and I'm like already talking like this. can see how I'm gonna be like in the future liao. haha. damn stress uh. at school teachers stress. at home parents stress. at cinema homework stress. best lorhh. thinking of homework while watching movie. actually that happened to me quite a few times-.- so I made up my mind to only go to the cinema during holidays. like the really long ones :) but I don't care how short the next hol is anymore. I just want a break. NOW.
mann I'm like just complaining here. might happen every school day if I get the chance to use the computer. urgh. so prepared to get used to it ^^and lols I'm like so annoyed by yckss de uniform. ugly until like hell. today I first time see nia. look like amkss but I think amk de nicer. and this girl, confirm sec 1, shirt so bloody big then she so bloody small larhh. her skirt like cannot see larhhs. (their uniform is tuck out one) then suddenly got 2 more girls come in. wahlao, one of them got bitch face bitch attitude. hairstyle like mushroom/jellyfish, let down some more. look damn disgusting larhhs. whole bus ride I staring lorhh. haha. worst thing is, dunno whether the person cut no good or she comb wrong, her hair some longer (like 1cm) some shorter. so ugly uh. and she still keep on touching it every 20sec like want show off like that. I purposely go pull my tie when she look at me. I think she said something to her friend but it can't be any worse than what I'm saying now :D
lols anw haha. just remembered something funny. today I was carrying a sling bag to school. then I really bad at adjusting it, so in the end it become very low. I go home right, look like small kid sia. just like Ivy said I would. just that she added this annoying part. "old woman want to act like kid." then I was like "no lorhh, I so young." hahaha. can you imagine if this was the blog of a 30plus year old woman? LOLS. okay maybe not funny. to me damn funny larhhs. I half asleep mahs. and something happens everytime I'm half asleep ^^ not gibberish come out means nonsense come out. (these 2 things got difference O.O)
TIME TO SLEEP~!! HAHA. SO RAD.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
SONO ME.. DARE NO ME?
LOL apparently someone wants to be mentioned on my blog. harhar. too bad mah gay partner. your actions everyday are so freaking gay it seems like there is nothing special about it. heh. just joking :D
urgh. so now I'm like awake at 5plus in the morning sneezing my butt off cause it's freakingly cold. rawr. and please hor, don't think it's because I thought today is a school day-.- haha. it's just that I can't sleep larhhs. but technically speaking, that SHOULD be the case, since I was sleeping at 8pm. wonder why I slept so early? mindchamps lorhh. I go there like zombie, come back STILL like zombie. morning cannot wake up, DUH. evening come back I damn hungry and tired larhhs. reach home, first thing I do is eat. then second thing is SLEEP. wait, I sound like a pig now-.- nvm, third thing is wake up then play comp lorhh xD then later at a more appropiate time I going to chiong homework. but confirm cannot finish one. aiyah, just die larhhs.
-sniff- omg I cannot stand it already larhhs. I need to seriously go eat some flu medicine. haha. but before I leave, I just realised something. why my this post got so much singlish?? I think is because I just wake up larhhs. exam I write like this, really die liao lorhh :D
Friday, January 2, 2009
AND THE NEW YEAR STARTS..
WITH A SCREAM SESSION~!!
OH MY HOLY CRAP :)
haha. so what else is in store on the first day but knowing how horrible your teachers are? :D
just the bomb man. I thought my form teacher was enough for me to suffer for my whole sec 4 life. guess again. knowing that some of my teachers changed just killed me. all of a sudden I think that my maths teacher is my most favourite teacher on earth xD yup yup.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M SO TEMPTED TO PON EVERY LESSON OF SS/GEOG. well, that's just because that is just my worst subject. no matter how I study, how much effort I put in, the grades just doesn't change. It like I'm doomed to fail it :) and guess who's my teacher for that subject. sec 4 level head :D hahahahaha. can see how I'm gonna get tortured. now I think choosing cedar was definitely a wrong choice. I DAMN STRESS LUH. and then here comes more teachers who stress me some more until I want to just end my life. so much for gratitude.
gwa~ I have like 1000001 complains about this year. it just sucks. okay I just summed it up in 3 words. hahaha. the best thing about today was actually that I got to watch chaos;head. OMG I really REALLY LOVE gruesome stuff :DD just that I think that the ending song doesn't suit it at all. it's just kinda too happy, when this show contains like so much blood and death. haha. awesome. I think I just used tons of the word 'just' in this post. heh.
I'm just hoping now that next week will be okay. so much for TGIF(FYI it means Thank God It's Friday), and you know what? because of mindchamps I'm like gonna change TGIF to HCIF. which just means HOLY CRAP IT'S FRIDAY, kill me.
LOLS omg I'm like so bored now. I feel like sleeping since I'm freaking tired, but then again I just took a nap a few hours ago. woke up just to watch tv. hehe. sian. I want to finish my homework but I like damn lazy larhhs. what to do? haha. but I confirm will chiong my homework on sunday. since from now onwards, every sunday is study session with ll and rl-.- those annoying people who don't have to take o lvl and are talking about getting a 2 for their gpa or something. like haha I don't even understand. just great :D
Thursday, January 1, 2009
IT'S HOT. the heat's terrible :( kill me. rawr. nonono. it's new year. I shouldn't be saying that O.O haha. I MISSED THE COUNTDOWN. like yay I rock to the max man. (once again cuts in with an irony^^) I was like hmm.. playing cards :D yup was totally enjoying it. much much better than the countdown. CAUSE I WON. but only at stress. played blackjack too. won some lost some. seriously, that game totally depends on your luck sia. guess everyone's is good since it is the new years. hoho. this year it's the OX. woohoo. my dad.
zzz. yesterday was kinda fun :D my dad was holding a party. meant for gambling. DUH. to tell you the truth, they're still gambling now :P heh. and except for them I'm the only one still awake. cool eh. people asleep in my house at the moment: mum, sister, grandma, cousin, aunt. my aunt kinda got fed up with my uncle playing mahjong so she decided to sleep for awhile. my cousin's staying for real. I bet they got on air-con. LOLS.
and so my hair kinda looks weird now. (so AWESOMELY RAD.) heh. decided to be an idiot and clipped it up. was trying some new hairstyle. gah. that reminds me. I need to tie up my hair when school reopens. but it's hard :( shit. I just reminded myself about homework. I think I'm so amazing. until now I still haven't done a single thing. planning to chiong tmr. (even though I know I confirm won't do one-.-) okay. so now I'm just waiting for a hopeful extension :D
sian. my leg kinda hurts right now :( all my sister's fault. bet whoever's reading this is gonna laugh their butt off. man. I was just jogging right in front of her. and she crashed into me. like her bike's front wheel went between my legs and hit my AHEM. while scraping both my legs. right one's more hurt though. it looked like a zebra crossing before I cleaned it. you know like black and skin colour, black and skin colour throughout my leg.
ahh, I really wanna sleep now-.- but there's this weird construction sound coming from I dunno where which is annoying me. furthermore, some people like just walked past my house and were talking damn loudly. well, loud enough to prevent me from sleeping. ohh, and the BEST thing was, some people just called me a long time ago at 2 plus to ask me to go to siloso beach. of course I went like huh. I can't even go to the playground (which is a 5min walk from my house) and you want me to go all the way to sentosa O.O TOTALLY THE BEST SIA.
which reminds me. I wanna go to the playground at night again. I mean like it's so cool to go there at night to play the swing :D especially when it's so peaceful and all^^ hmm and if I want to go with someone, I'm definitely going with :D my cousin^^ the guy one who is the same age as my sister. why? because he is SO MUCH MORE MATURE. at least he doesn't cry for 10mins just because he doesn't get to play the swing. unlike someone. WHICH IS NOT ME. geh. I feel like sneaking out of the house to go there now. maybe I should? hehehe.
SO THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU CAN'T SLEEP ON NEW YEARS. I SEE.